HERE THERE

Emily Meg Weinstein

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Reasons I Have Lost Men to Other Women

Was not blond
Did not have boobs yet
Could not keep hacky sack aloft
Could not blow glass
Could not walk barefoot in glassblowing studio and not get glass in foot
Was not tall
Was not elfin
Was not German
Was not Israeli
Used big words
Sent long emails
Did not play bass
Could not drive stick shift
Did not drive pickup truck
Did not live on houseboat
Was not blond
Wouldn’t row Class IV
Couldn’t climb 5.11
Wouldn’t lead 5.10
Couldn’t boulder at all
Smoked too much weed
Didn’t drink enough whiskey
Didn’t have house in Tahoe
Didn’t want to have a threesome
Wasn’t a Marxist
Wasn’t an anthropologist
Didn’t care enough about native plants
Wasn’t 38
Wasn’t 22
Wasn’t a sailor
Wasn’t a farmer
Wasn’t a mule packer
Made remark that could be construed as anti-Semitic without first explaining I was Jewish
Didn’t sew
Didn’t can
Didn’t thru-hike
Didn’t bike tour
Did not cut cheddar cheese into uniform cubes
Did not make scenes
Did not make scones
Wanted too much
Didn’t ask for enough
Refused to play games
Played them, and lost

 
Emily

Emily Meg Weinstein writes the web site superlefty.com, where she has published over 300 essays. She lives, writes, teaches and climbs in northern California.


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